Siameasles: The Result Of Very Bad Siamese Cat Behavior

Freddy Kruger nailsMinkey’s white, lilac tipped fur soon morphed into pure chocolate-point adult markings. More impressively, his paw pads stayed pink but grew to the size of a heavy-metal rockers’ gauntlets. Which has encouraged him to indulge in some very bad Siamese cat behavior.

Let’s just say his (frequently-trimmed) claws would intimidate Freddy Kruger. Minkey has never learned to retract these. Which is a good thing (for him), because his favourite hobby is taking a flying leap from somewhere across the room, and skid-landing on my left shoulder. (Think “supersonic jet coming in for a rubber-band landing on an aircraft carrier in the North Atlantic”, and you’ve got it.)

Since he is cross-eyed, he often misses, with the result that I am chronically scarred all over. A cornfield has less furrows than I do. Whenever someone asks me what all the little red scratches and holes are, I tell them: “Siameasles.” It sounds more interesting than “just yer average demonstration of affectionate Siamese cat behavior.” And it usually stops any further questions cold.

Whenever I look in the mirror, I remind myself of that Gary Larson cartoon; the one where two ripped and shredded people sit looking shell-shocked in a hospital Emergency room. The caption reads “Typical Siamese Owners”.

Gary Larson must be an expert in Siamese cat behavior.

Either that, or he has obviously met Minkey…

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